Bites for July 18, 2006
Daniel Swensen
News has been a bit slow, so here are a few assorted bits from around the Web.
Spielberg on Indiana Jones IV:
“George and I have been promising it for a lot of years now, but I’m making every attempt to keep my promise. I just want to make sure that the fanbase is given the best ‘Indiana Jones’ anybody could possibly make, and until I can assure myself that at least I’m trying to make the best ‘Indiana Jones’ film of all time, the development will continue. The process of developing the script will continue, and it continues right now with David Koepp writing the script… I feel that if anybody can do it and pull this together, David can”.
Translation: Continue not holding your breath.
Spielberg on Jurassic Park IV:
“Joe Johnston is standing by. First dibs on it, and Joe is my go-to ‘Jurassic’ guy now. I think the film is witty and clever, and I think Joe did an amazing job putting together those battles. And I think those battles Joe put together… I was jealous of the spinosaurus attack on the airplane! That scene where the spinosaurus attacks the airplane and the passengers inside the airplane was every bit as good as I thought the main road attack in ‘Jurassic Park’ was. So I’m a huge fan of Joe’s, and he’s the right guy to do the fourth one”.
What are we down to now for new Jurassic Park dinosaurs? Diplodicus? Killer marmots? Not that I get tired of seeing dinosaurs rampaging, but I’m wondering how they’re going keep gas in this franchise. Also, can we please bring Anne Heche’s character from JPIII back so she can be eaten, as she rightfully should have been? Thanks.
Cyberpunk Review has a great review of Scanner Darkly, which I’m really looking forward to seeing. I saw the first 20 minutes of the film on IGN, and it looks great. SFAM writes awesome reviews, so you should go check it out.
Apparently none of us have to live with mere nostalgia anymore when it comes to televised entertainment, because everything’s coming out on DVD, including Jack of All Trades, the Flash Gordon animated series, and Blackstar. You remember Blackstar, the series with the Trobbits? No, not Hobbits, Trobbits, totally different. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I can only hope that Marshall BraveStarr and the Mighty Orbots will get the same treatment. When these come out, by the way, I plan to watch and review them all for your enjoyment and edification. Well… enjoyment, anyway. I doubt anyone’s going to learn anything from Jack of All Trades.
July 18th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Son, I could write episodes 4 through 10 of the Jurassic Park franchise, with every film being totally different, and totally sweet, and all of it being good (okay, decent) paleontology. Well, except the one where the ‘raptors develop a civilization. And the thing is, you know I could do this, and yet…!
Not seeing A Scanner Darkly, because under no circumstances will I give any money to the idea Hollywood seems to have that Keanu Reeves is who we get for the lead in intelligent genre pictures.
Finally, “Jack of All Trades” = Awesome!
July 18th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I know you could do it; what bamboozles me is that you haven’t yet! Chop chop over here!
Obviously, I don’t know a fraction of what you do about dinosaurs, but I’m just wondering if they can continue to have a dinosaur that is, in fact, bigger and meaner each time… like, for JP4, will they have a larger dinosaur eat the Allosaur to prove the situation is serious? And, how long could they theoretically continue to do this?
As for Keanu Reeves, my dislike for him is well-known, but I get around it by telling myself it’s an animated replica of Keanu, which, no doubt, can out-act Keanu himself. Put him in the hands of animators and suddenly he’s capable of expression!
July 18th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Awright.
Jurassic Park 4: The Radiating Principle. Pterosaurs start to appear in the skies of the mainlands, and terrible carnivorous reptiles in the seas of the world. Will the earth learn to live with its new inhabitants, or will they have to be destroyed? New creatures include: Quetzalcoatlus (the largest of all pterosaurs), Kronosaurus (a huge, oceanic predator).
Jurassic Park 5: The New Wardens. Odd energy readings from the island prompt the sending of a team of scientists and their heavily-armed, heavily-trained guards. But will even they stand against Velociraptors that have organized themselves into a kingdom, and learned to use the technology left behind? New creatures include: Dimorphodon (a small pterosaur, used as falcons by the ‘raptors), Styracosaurus (used as war-mounts!).
Jurassic Park 6: The Ambassadors. A peace having been reached in the previous movie with the ‘raptors, a delegation of representatives of this new society is invited to New York City. But little does anyone know that one of the delegates seeks a goal quite in opposition of peace… New creatures include: Argentinosaurus (one of the really big sauropods, let loose in NY as a distraction), Mononykos (A small, feathered predator, which can be controlled vocally by the ‘raptors).
Jurassic Park 7: Ice Age. A Japanese company decides to create its own park, using extinct mammals, which they believe will be more manageable than dinosaurs. But is a Velociraptor truly more dangerous than a saber-toothed tiger, a Triceratops more destructive than an Imperial Mammoth? New creatures include: All sorts of extinct mammals and birds.
Jurassic Park 8: Isla Sorna. A team of diplomats sent to the island to make contact with the ‘raptors experiences, you know, an accident of some sort, and a by-now-old-fashioned run-from-dinosaurs ensues. And are the Velociraptors still interested in peace, anyway? New creatures include: Phobosuchus (a 50-foot crocodile), Giganotosaurus (a carnivore larger than Tyrannosaurus or Spinosaurus).
Jurassic Park 9: Dinosaurmageddon (apologies to Gabe & Tycho). Public knowledge of the existence of dinosaurs has led to mounting public demand for dinosaurs, and, over the protests of our heroes, it is decided to start recreating them in the world at large. But the ‘raptors have added something sinister to the genetic material of their fellows – a hidden trigger, leading to worldwide dinosaur revolt! New creatures include: Stygimoloch (like Pachycephalosaurus, only spikier), Ankylosaurus (where the fuck has Ankylosaurus been all this time?).
Jurassic Park 10: Jurassic World. A small, desperate pocket of humanity ekes out a tenuous existence in a shattered world, where dinosaurs are the masters! New creatures include: Amargasaurus (a sauropod with spikes all along its neck), Utahraptor (a really big version of Velociraptor).
***
In the words of Emperor Zombie, “Yes, I am a genius.”
July 18th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
Bravo!!!!
July 18th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
In the vein of X-Men 3, I truly hope JP10 has a scene with a T-Rex and Utahraptor resembling any one of Ryan North’s Dinosaur Comics.
July 19th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Jeeezus Christ!
Why isn’t Matthoggua in charge of the JP franchise? Why am I not possessed of billions of dollars to help make this happen? Damn you, reality! Damn you!!!
July 20th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Well, thank you, you are very kind.
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:18 am
Is Sea Wayne’s alter ego a reverend???
Those are all great ideas. I was going to suggest something similar to your JP7 idea. Mammoths and sabertooth cats and such…. worried that it would be taken too much like the cartoon…… But it could work if done correctly.
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:20 am
Don’t forget (unless I just missed it) the DVD release of The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.
July 22nd, 2006 at 12:22 pm
I never watched Brisco County, but yeah, I know it’s out there.
July 30th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Black Star.
Regarding Jurassic Park 4, can we bring back the Sleestacks with their cool colored rocks and stuff? Other than this, I can’t imagine any reason I’d want to watch this movie.