Bruce Campbell vs. Matt Kessen, Part Two
Reverend Matt
Some film actors without stage experience are simply no good on stage; not so Bruce Campbell, who was singularly at ease. He was more charming, funnier, just more Bruce Campbell than he was even in his movies, and the one-liners flew thick and fast that night.
He introduced the movie, instructing us to heckle it, which, of course, we did. And then he answered questions for awhile. “There will be a fourth Evil Dead movie,” he regally intoned at one point. Wild applause. “…When monkeys fly out of my ass,” he concluded. “Where’d you hear that, the Internet?” he replied to one question; “Yeah, on your site,” replied the questioner. Bruce Campbell then looked self-defensively smug in the way only Bruce Campbell can. He bragged about his role in the upcoming Spider-Man, identifying himself as the man who gives the superhero his name.
“Two more questions,” he said after awhile, “and then we’re done.” The two questions came and went, and the audience began to yell out additional questions and demands. “What’s Ted Raimi doing now?” “Do the flip!” And so on. He pretty much ignored these. I yelled out, “Why aren’t you Spider-Man?”
“Who said that?” said Bruce Campbell. I raised my hand, halfway back in the crowd. “I dunno, ‘cause I was too busy playing his dad?” he said. “Me as 19-year-old Peter Parker; what’s the matter with you? Okay, here’s me as Spider-Man.” He then went into an impression of Spidey as a doddering old man, waddling about the stage, croaking, “Hey, Green Goblin, knock off all that!” He took out a pair of glasses and fiddled with them in front of his eyes, as though trying to make out his villainous foes. And then he whirled around and pointed at me, saying, “I think you need glasses!” And the crowd applauded wildly, and our evening with Bruce Campbell was at an end.
I was giddy for a week. I had been personally mocked by Bruce Campbell, me out of a theater of hundreds. It was one of the finest days of my life.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:42 am
I fucking love that story. I’ll never get tired of it.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:42 am
That is absolutely fantastic. You are my personal hero today.
September 25th, 2006 at 11:32 am
That is always a great story.
May 7th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
I knew there was a reason you were greater than cheese, and here it is. That’s one of the greatest Bruce Campbell stories I’ve ever heard.