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Synopsis

Sakurai (left), Mr. Tako (center), and Furue the Singing Cowboy (right)

After the opening sequence, in which we see shots of the final battle between Kong and Godzilla that will come later, we see the planet Earth, and hear pithy commentary about its mysteries. This turns out to be part of a TV science show sponsored by Pacific Pharmaceuticals. Now, Mr. Tako (Ichiro Arishima), an executive of this company, hates this show, and is fanatically desperate for better publicity for the company. Hearing of a monster worshipped by the natives of Pharoh Island (spelled here as it is in the subtitles of the review copy; many other spellings exist), an island near the Solomon Islands, he dispatches two of his employees – Sakurai (Tadao Takashima) and Sakurai’s unnamed sidekick, called ‘Kinsaburo Furue’ in the literature (Yu Fujiki) – to bring said monster back, for advertising purposes.

Meanwhile, the American submarine “Seahawk,” investigating a seemingly radioactive iceberg in the north Pacific, crashes into that iceberg, There is a familiar, screaming roar, and the helpless, idiot Americans see their sub set afire.

In Japan, Sakurai and Furue, clad in pith helmets and Banana Republic gear, bid adieu to Sakurai’s sister Fumiko (Mie Hama), her boyfriend Kazuo Fujita (Kenji Sahara), and her nameless sidekick (apparently ‘Tamiye,’ played by Eiko Wakabayashi), and then they set off. On Pharoh, they are waylaid by spear-wielding natives, who closely resemble the natives of “Gilligan’s Island”: half-naked, and following ancient traditions involving feather headdresses and blackface. “Ooolooloo,” they say as they approach, “Ooolooloo.” Brought before the Chief, our heroes buy permission to stay on the island with a transistor radio – which plays J-pop all the way down here – and cigarettes for all, the latter being the real deal-closer. Native peoples love cigarettes. That night, during a thunderstorm, the natives worship their god; Sakurai decides their god must actually be thunder, but then hears a distinctly un-thunderlike roar.

Yeah! First base!

Elsewhere, Godzilla climbs out of his iceberg and attacks an arctic base of the Japanese Army. As a sort of warm-up. If you’ll pardon the term. Kazuo, Fumiko’s boyfriend, is on a nearby ship that has heard the nuclear submarine’s distress call.

On Pharoh, Furue is wounded in an avalanche, and a native boy, Chikiro, is dispatched to get something to help Furue sleep. Followed by his worried mother (Akemi Negishi), the boy goes to a hut filled with urns full of red juice. While there, the hut is attacked for some reason by a giant octopus. The villagers try unsuccessfully to drive it off, but luckily, King Kong shows up and drives the octopus off for them. He then drinks some of the juice and falls asleep.
Mr. Tako, thrilled to pieces, meets Sakurai and Furue on the boat that is dragging the raft to which the slumbering Kong is tied. Tako plans to have Kong fight Godzilla; then there’s some zany madcap humor involving the fusebox for the TNT on Kong’s raft; and then the Navy shows up. They tell Tako that Kong is considered smuggled goods, and therefore Pacific Pharmaceuticals is responsible for any destruction he causes. (What the hell kinda customs law is that?)

In Japan, Fumiko hears that Kazuo’s ship has been sunk, and takes a train north to try to find him. Godzilla attacks that train; Kazuo, very much alive, saves Fumiko. The Army, partially under the direction of Mr. Shinagawa (Akihiko Hirata), plans to put another fence around Tokyo, this time with a million volts, and to dig a pit-trap in the wilderness for Godzilla to fall into. You may ask, how do they know Godzilla will walk to where the pit is? Well, ask away. We’re moving on.

Duuuuuude…

At sea, Kong awakens, and survives attempts to blow him up. Arms waving, he sprints onto shore, and soon runs into Godzilla in the wilderness, near Kegon Falls. They roar at each other some, and Kong lobs some rocks. Godzilla sets the trees Kong is standing amongst on fire, and this drives the ape off.

The pit-trap for Godzilla is built, and, that night, Godzilla falls into it. Then – surprise – he climbs back out. Meanwhile, Kong approaches Tokyo, and it is evacuated. Later, the electrical wires successfully rebuff Godzilla, oddly enough.

Kong, elsewhere, also meets the wires, but he just breaks them and – inexplicably – seems to actually, literally drink up the electricity. Kazuo and Fumiko are separated in the chaos that ensues, and Kong picks up the train Fumiko is on. Fumiko is plucked out of it by the ape, and, gazing at her with either curiosity or longing, he climbs on top of the Japanese Diet building, the seat of government. The Army plans to shoot him off, but Sakurai, who points out his sister, stops this. He suggests that they use the red juice from Pharoh to knock Kong out, and the Army obligingly loads some of it onto missiles, which they then explode over Kong’s head. Kong falls asleep, without dropping Fumiko. Sakurai, perhaps sensing he’s on a roll with this telling-the-Army-what-to-do thing, suggests that they tie some balloons (!!) to Kong to transport him to Mt. Fuji, where Godzilla is. And so it is done.

After an uncomfortable-looking ride, Kong is dropped onto Godzilla, and the fight of the century commences. There’s grappling, tackling, radioactive breath; Kong lobs rocks at Godzilla, some of which are batted back at him by Godzilla’s tail; Godzilla even busts out a quick jump-kick. Just when Kong seems beaten, he is struck by lightning, and he is revitalized. He lays into Godzilla, electricity sparking from his hands with each punch. Atami Castle is torn down in an almost obligatory fashion, and the monsters tumble into the sea. Only Kong rises, and swims out to sea, heading back for Pharoh Island. The end.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 4th, 2007 at 7:00 am and is filed under Godzilla Project. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.