Vincent Macropod in “Karaoke Without Honor”
Reverend Matt
I used to swear by Deepdiscount.com. Bought stuff from them all the time. Then, they decided to stop letting me; all of a sudden, every attempt I made to make a purchase from them was met with some sort of processing error. Customer service told me to resubmit the orders; didn’t work. So I gave up on ‘em. Since then, whenever it would come up that I’d had problems with Deepdiscount, our pal Dan would mention that he never ever had. It was a reasonable thing for him to mention. I used to do the same thing when people would speak of poor service at Amazon. (Of course, that was before Amazon put me on their “To give shaft” list.)
So spurred on by Dan’s persistent good experiences, I made a new Deepdiscount account and placed an order a while ago. You see where this is going.
This time, it’s a whole new variety of screws being put to me. This time, I placed my order, everything was fine, until I began to wonder why it hadn’t shipped yet. Looked at my account, discovered that my items were apparently now on “Backorder.” They hadn’t bothered to mention this, of course, either in their confirmation of the order or on the front page. You can see why they wouldn’t trouble themselves. I mean, who needs things delivered in a timely fashion around this time of year? NOBODY, THAT’S WHO.
So, I’m really very glad it’s a site that works so well for others. I myself am never going back under any fucking circumstances. And all this is to say nothing of my recent difficulties with Bestprices.com and Toyrocket. Suffice it to say, you win, online vendors; my gall, my temerity, my unmitigated cheek in trying to give you money in exchange for the items you offer for sale will not be repeated.
But enough about that. How about a cartoon? It’s dedicated to Mr. Nikolas Rubenstein. Annotations below the break!
- I do not, in fact, know all the lyrics to every song ever written by man. But I do know the lyrics to an awful lot of them, including a great many songs that I’ve never liked for a second. It is my gift - and also my curse. And it also led to a conversation with the abovementioned Mr. Rubenstein, similar to the sixth panel of this cartoon, which inspired the rest of it.
- The first song is “Dead or Alive,” by Bon Jovi. The second is Young MC’s “Bust a Move.” I do know the lyrics to both, yes, though the former is one of those songs I’ve never liked I was mentioning.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:36 am
Well, I sure have been duly chagrined for not having trouble with DeepDiscount. I know that much!
December 12th, 2007 at 2:39 am
Also, this reminds me of the truly bizarre problem I had with the Science Fiction Book Club — coincidentally enough, my items were “backordered” unbeknownst to me, and then I received a series of bizarre emails from SFBC in which some sort of automated message system appeared to read itself the riot act. My order was then canceled without warning. Perhaps foolishly, I submitted a nearly identical order (one of the books had gone out of print in the meantime; pricks) — it arrived promptly without a problem.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:39 am
Makes me wonder what would have happened if the contestant had known the lyrics to “I Kill Children”.
December 12th, 2007 at 2:57 am
I’m so glad someone else has that problem with hating songs, yet knowing the words. I still remember recieving two different copies of Michael Jackson’s Bad LP for my seventh birthday and later when I remarked that I didn’t even like Bad, everyone was confused because I knew the words. Urgh.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:42 am
Dan: Good sir! Surely it is plain that I do not mean to chagrin; I said it was reasonable for you to mention your lack of problems, and that I was glad it’s a site that works for others (meaning you, basically). I only mentioned you because your positive experiences were germane to the story. Do not be chagrined! I just needed to bitch a bit.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:42 am
Also, I would absolutely adore seeing an automated message system read itself the riot act.
December 12th, 2007 at 10:53 am
I am horribly musically illiterate. On the Wedding Singer DVD there is a lyric quiz that quotes a lyric from a song from the movie and you have to answer which song it is. It isn’t multiple choice, no timer, just a straight question and answer. Even knowing all the songs, even claiming to like most of them, I still could only answer the most obvious questions.
I am always impressed by people who can hear a song a few times (or watch a movie a few times) and quote it.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:45 am
I’m not really chagrined, I just like to play at being the martyr. Great cartoon, btw.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I did a reverse screw to DeepDiscount by not doing something they needed from me but as usual in these stories I just wound up hurting myself.Maybe they’re confusing you with the other Matt Kessen, the one who’s a jackass.Throw the reverend title in their face and ask them “Is this how you a treat a Man of God?