dimfuture.net

MODOR

At last we come to it – the raison d’etre for half of the reviews of the last two weeks – MODOK himself, the Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. Your reviewer loves MODOK, loves him enough to buy figures he doesn’t want to build the ol’ Organism. Why? Well, MODOK is one of the more effective of Jack Kirby’s ugly-monster designs, but more to the point, MODOK’s focus is wholly admirable. Would you like MODOK to bake you a hot apple pie? Well, he won’t be baking you a hot apple pie – Only Killing. Would you like him to join your bowling league? Well, if by “bowling league” you mean “killing,” then yes; otherwise, no. He knows what he wants. He was Designed Only for it.

MODOBS

Articulation: 26 points of articulation, plus he can swivel on the rocket-blowback upon which his chair is mounted. 26 points of articulation, for a giant head in a chair. Do you know what that means? You guessed it - individual finger articulation. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Sculpt: Really, really nice-looking, or rather, gruesomely ugly, but that’s clearly the point. Really, they went all-out on this one, which is gratifying. He’s to scale with the other figures, by the way, which means he’s no taller than, say, Sasquatch, and hence nowhere near the size of build-a-figures such as Galactus or the Sentinel. He’s still too bulky to have made it into a regular single-figure carded package, though, and so his build-a-figure status is justified. Barely.

MODONS

Paint: Your reviewer is beginning to sound hysterical, here, but this is also exceptional. Shiny, no bleed, and a lot of unnecessary subtlety – different panels on his chair are slightly different colors, for example. Suffice it to say, MODOK has not been handled with such care since – well – er –

Durability: Remarkably solid, for a figure that you snap together yourself. Previous build-a-figures have had problems here, but this one’s totally fine. Seriously. We’ll give it a slightly reduced rating, just to keep your reviewer from having a seizure.

MODOWSP

Get Up, Stand Up: He’s mounted on this great big fiery-rocket-blowback effect, and so of course he stands up perfectly well. Actually, he’s remarkably front-heavy, but still, no care need be taken in keeping him upright. All part of Only Killing!

Accessories: MODOK is an accessory; he doesn’t come with them. And anyway, does he sound like a Mental Organism Designed Only to Have Accessories (MODOHA) to you? Yes? Shut up. (No stars – N/A)

Overall:

(Note: Please enjoy guessing what the acronyms of the various homemade MODOK variants, pictured above, may mean, right down there in the “Comments” section. Yeah, not too hard.)

OH GOD, MY LEG! JESUS CHRIST, MY GODDAMN LEG!

So this is actually the second version of Iron Man to be put out by Marvel Legends with a “-buster” appellation; there was a “Hulkbuster Iron Man” awhile back. So apparently, Iron Man has an armor designed to “bust” pretty much everyone in the Marvel Universe. “Foolkiller-buster Iron Man”; “Howard the Duck-buster Iron Man”; “J. Jonah Jameson-buster Iron Man.” The mind reels. Hey – since Hulk and Thor would normally be too much for Iron Man to handle, but then he can anyway, by just suddenly coming up with new armor, why not go all the way? “Mephistobuster Iron Man!” “Galactusbuster Iron Man!” Why the hell not? Stories in which problems are solved by altering the properties of made-up technology – satisfyin’!

OH LORD, ALL THE TECHNOLOGICAL ACUMEN IN THE WORLD WON’T FIX THIS!

Articulation: Standard – which is to say, excellent – for a Marvel Legend. It’s a bit restricted by his beefiness; it is further restricted by the nightmare of his right leg – see below.

Sculpt: Mostly: Fine, just fine. But then we come to the right leg. The knee-joint is twisted heavily, painfully to the right, in a way that can only be excruciating for Mr. Stark. No amount of reposing will get rid of the effect. And it makes your reviewer wince. Perhaps he got a defective figure; perhaps he did not. But you’ve got to assume that everyone who comes into your restaurant might be a food critic, yes?

WILL NOBODY HELP ME? OH GOD, WILL NOBODY HELP?!?

Paint: Perfectly fine, simple and all, except for the human face beneath the mask, where the skin-tone bleeds out onto the armor. Stupid! The paint-job on the variant figure – which is the Destroyer, a slate-grey Asgardian robot, who looks a good deal like this armor – should be simpler still; your reviewer will tell you when he gets it. (Hopefully, it’ll be in a healthier condition than Iron Man here.)

Durability: Aheheh – well, it is too late for poor Thorbuster Iron Man… But at least it appears that he is unlikely to suffer any further disfigurement.

Hoo boy…this is awkward…

Standeroo: Actually, remarkably fine, considering. The awesome articulation saves him – the feet themselves swivel on a forward-pointing axis, allowing a foothold even with the shin almost parallel to the ground. He probably shouldn’t be putting pressure on that thing, though.

Accessories: None for him, unless you count his armor’s faceplate, which comes off – always a nice touch. He has a MODOK piece, and a backdrop depicting a blasted waste, presumably where all this Thorbusting is going on. And the comic, the comic is “Iron Man” #409, or “Iron Man” #64, depending on how you look at it. Both numbers are on the cover; the second refers to the ‘reboot’ number, when “Iron Man” was restarted at #1, whereas the 409 counts from the original #1. Confused? You’re not alone – the publishers of the reprint claim it originally appeared in 1973, though it is plainly, on every level of design and content, much, much more recent. The publication information appears to refer to the original #64. Anyway, the comic has Dr. Doom in it, handled well, and your reviewer loves Dr. Doom.

Overall:

With my spider…wings…I shall now soar majestically, like a…like a spider.

So your reviewer has copped to getting sucked in, this time, by the build-a-figure technique of collector-suckering. But there’s a second such technique used in this wave of figures: the variant. Fully five of the six figures have rare, alternate versions available. Your reviewer has not mentioned this yet because he hasn’t really cared about any of them (two alternate Wasp costumes, Moon Knight in white instead of dark silver, and the second Marvel character called Captain Marvel, with a blue face and white hair). He may yet hunt down the variant of Spider-Woman, however, which is the second Spider-Woman, in a black outfit with strawberry blonde hair. The non-variant, which we will discuss today, is the original holder of the title; there have been at least three, plus at least one Spider-Girl. It seems to be a sort of a rite of passage for young women in the Marvel Universe, to become a Spider-Woman.

OOOOOF

Articulation: Well, the legs and waist are up to the usual standards. The head’s motion is restricted by the hair, which does happen. It’s the arms that are the real problem; the pliable-but-think plastic ‘wings’ beneath them place serious constraints on their range of motion. And all of the available motion folds and twists the wings in ways that look ill-advised, where figure longevity is concerned. Her default position, then, becomes Spider-Woman on the Cross.

Sculpt: Looks good, though. One could, perhaps, do without the slight, cavemannish forward-thrust to the head.

Destined to break!

Paint: This is actually remarkably sloppy on the joints at the upper boots; otherwise, it’s okay, though. You know; red, yellow, black. Hard to botch, but then, much as credit is not given for enhanced difficulty, nor is it reduced for the reduction of same. We are fair and even-handed, like Solomon himself, here at Men of Action.

Durability: Well, again, here we have a female figure for which, unspeakably, articulation has been sacrificed for durability. And those wings, they just make your reviewer nervous. They’ll snap in two! They’ll come off the wings! Ohhh, he does worry. Until Mr. Jack Daniels makes the worry go away!

So have you even heard of copyright law?

Falldown Resistance: Terrible. Her leg-joints are very loose, and standing her up is a time-consuming chore, like, you know, chopping wood. And then she’s still very unstable. Your reviewer uses a figure-stand for her, though she does not come with one. (She’s using one of the spares from the Marvel Monsters boxed set from earlier this year, since some of those characters could stand up without ‘em. Spider-Woman gets Frankenstein’s, if you must know.)

Accessories: Nothing just for her. A Piece of MODOK. A backdrop with stand, depicting, apparently, the interior of the SHIELD Helicarrier (oh, don’t ask) as it flies over a major city at night. Aaaaand a comic. The comic is appropriate enough, being 1978’s “Spider-Woman” #1. It recaps her background – which, bafflingly, includes no mention whatsoever of the seemingly-relevant Spider-Man – and sets her up for adventures in London, somewhat lamely.

Overall:

Captain Marvel: School Crossing Guard Who Means Business.

Marvel, in your reviewer’s opinion, is at its best when it’s grounded. Peter Parker is more interesting because he has a life outside of Spider-Man. Iron Man’s alcoholism is a better weakness than, say, a special material that would rob him of his powers. And so on. By this logic, then, Marvel is at its worst when it lacks this quality; and nowhere in the Marvel Universe is less grounded than the Cosmic stuff. Filled to burst with utterly nonsensical god-beings and incredibly uninteresting alien races, the Cosmic material lacks any connection to humanity, on either a personal or mythic level. So to hell with it! (Galactus, and his associates, are exempted from this condemnation.) And thus, the very Cosmic ‘Captain Marvel’ here is the very archetype of the Character Your Reviewer Would Not Buy If It Didn’t Come With A MODOK Piece. Even though it’s actually a pretty good figure.

Male model from the stars!

Articulation: Marvel here sports the standard one million ho-jillion points of articulation for this line, so hooray for that. It does not, however, have individually-articulated fingers. So, ! Okay, just kidding, .

Sculpt: Pretty good, pretty good, pretty neat, pretty neat. Looks just like a guy in a skin-tight bodysuit, with sexy, sexy hair. Which is presumably what they were going for. The fact that his right hand is in a permanent fist-like shape is lame, though.

Thanos, the Mad Titan, has gained total control over every aspect of the space/time continuum, and has used it to turn Marvel’s legs backwards!

Paint: Actually quite excellent; the gold bits of the costume look particularly nice. Also, your reviewer loves the colorful clothes he wears, and the way the sunlight plays upon his hair.

Durability: Fine, fine. Say – how is it possible that both Marvel and DC can have characters called Captain Marvel? Seems a little specific, a little identifiable. Say – here’s an idea for a new Marvel character – he’s this guy with superpowers; we’ll call him “Superman!”

When cosmic threats are not looming, Marvel amuses himself with the zany adventures of Lefty and Righty!

Stand Power: He seems to stand up pretty well. Doesn’t fall over, anyway. This would be another good candidate for a flyin’-stand, if one cared about him. On your reviewer’s shelves, he’s pretty much obscured by Hulk and Sasquatch.

Accessories: None of his own, but the standards for this line: MODOK piece, backdrop, comic. The backdrop depicts a space-battle between starships of stunningly uninspired design. The comic is 1973’s “Captain Marvel” #25, and it’s actually pretty engaging, capturing a good deal of the Lee/Kirby gonzo energy from the 1960s. It helps that it’s set on earth, and that its villains are Skrulls – relatively manageable, as Marvel-outer-space-people go.

Overall: , but Captain Marvel still sucks.

Moon Knight’s superpower is that he has a stick!

Did you know that Marvel’s Incredible Hulk was originally a wrongheaded ripoff of DC’s Wonder Woman? No? That’s because it’s completely not true. Which is not to say that the two big companies don’t occasionally rip one another off. Take Moon Knight, here, for example: He’s this super-rich guy who has become a grim, brooding and caped avenger; having no superpowers, he instead foils crime with martial arts and gadgetry and bitchin’ vehicles. Mmmyep. Still, he’s somehow a super-cool character all the same. Maybe it’s the hood, or the vaguely Egyptian theme. It is assuredly not because his assistant is called “Frenchy.”

Doctor Octopus has stolen my giant foam #1 hand!

Articulation: Ahhh, here we go. At last we return to the embarrassment of riches, articulation-wise, for which this line is known. The individual fingers are articulated, and your reviewer is totally gay for that.

Sculpt: Very good; the face looks bad ass, it must be said. His costume appears to be tighter than his skin, but it’s nicely-rendered for all that. The only real beef is that his hands are a bit malformed, bulging at the sides to allow for finger-articulation. But if this is the price that must be paid, so be it.

It’s particularly sad when he pretends to be Spider-Man.

Paint: Well, the dark silver of his suit is very nice-looking, but there’s some rather unconscionable smudging on the belt and in the shading of the cape. He’s a millionaire, guys; he can afford the high-end costuming.

Durability: Can you play with this figure vigorously? Yes. Can you drop it into an active volcano? No. Well, okay, yes you can. But it’ll be destroyed, see, is the point.

Only Leonardo and Raphael remain!

Stand Up For Your Rights: It stands up mighty fine, does this figure. The cape helps, just like in real life. The walking stick doesn’t help, also just like in real life.

Accessories: Moon Knight comes with a staff and a set of nunchaku, both white as the light of Luna herself, and both suitable for causing massive internal bleeding in those lacking righteousness. Sweet! It also comes with the usual: A MODOK piece, a lame-o backdrop (here depicting Moony’s base, apparently; the Mooncave, maybe?), and a comic-reprint. The comic is “Marvel Team-Up” #7, from 2005, and it’s a decent, workmanlike issue, with good Spider-Man dialogue and somewhat alarming Scott Kolins art.

Overall: